Junkees Cold Stove Report

- So Shemp Matsui wants a 4-year deal, the Junkees want to give him three. George is in a tough spot because he likes having Shemp there for PR, so that he sells some tee-shirts to the Japanese fans. If Shemp wimps out, I'll be very disappointed. He can even ask for 5 years, and the Junkees will have to give it to him. Part of me hopes that he goes back to New York so that he can be selfish with that dumb meaningless streak, making one player have to rot on the bench.

- I was surprised Tino was let go. Did George and Ca$hman finally realize that bringing back washed up ex-Yankees did nothing to help the team? Yeah, I know he was good in May. Name one big hit he had after June 1st. Then I hear that they're interested in bringing back John Olerud. So I guess they're still into ex-Red Sox. Too bad it doesn't tweak Larry Luccino. In fact, I'm sure the Red Sox would be thrilled if you took Olerud. Do you want Kevin Millar, too?

- They have no idea what to do about centerfield. That's why you've got to love Billy Beane for resigning Mark Kotsay. Almost anyone would be great. Milton Bradley is a schmuck, Torii Hunter is going nowhere, says the Twins GM, and Juan Pierre could very well be the 2006 version of Tony Womack. And the fact that he fits the profile of guys-who've-hurt-the-Junkees-in-the-past makes him much more appealing to George. And his throwing arm makes Bernie Williams' look like Vlad Guererro's. Johnny Damon? Same thing.

- They'll get another motley crew for the bullpen. Kyle Farnsworth? Will never get you a big out. B. J. Ryan? Don't trust him either.

So you have to love how the Junkees have no idea what they're going to do. And keep in mind that 4 out of 5 rotation spots are set: Randy, Mussina, Pavano, and Wright. Doesn't exactly put the fear of God into anyone's lineup.

It remains to be seen what the buffoon will do over the next few weeks, and you have to love the whining about Cano and Rivera getting robbed of their respective awards, but that's a story for another day.