Boggs, Clemens, Nomar?

The latest rumor in the Junkees' bizarre offseason has Nomar Garciaparra coming to New York as a super utility man.

The whole thing is a PR move. The only thing that gets George more horny than an ex-Met is an ex-Red Sox player. It used to be that the Yanks would only get the ex-Sox that were worth getting. The Junkees needed a 3B when they signed Boggs (which was a bit of a risk after he hit .259 in '92), and the move paid off. And when the Junkees got Clemens in '99, it made sense because the guy had just pitched incredibly well in his two years in Toronto. But now, with the rivalry so much hotter than it was back in those days, George has gone further, acquiring scrubs like Embree and Bellhorn.

Getting Nomar makes no sense. The guy's never gonna play shortstop, his natural position, with his old buddy Jeter out there. He played some third last year, but of course A-Schmuck is already there. So who knows how he'll do at the other positions? Can Nomar play CF? Can the guy even stay healthy anymore?

He might turn out to be a decent DH in the long run, but even then, that's a power position. And Nomar is more of an average hitter.

Ultimately, the Junkees would be better off signing a guy like Miguel Cairo for this kind of role, since at least he's proven he can do it well.

So maybe seeing all those Mets on the back page of the New York papers has gotten George a little jealous. And a little crazy too, apparently.